COVID-19 Instrospections — Part 2
I just saw a post about a fifteen year old that suicided due to the Covid-19 atmosphere. I anticipated this. Just last week my brother and I discussed the fact that that isolation will cause long term damage to the emotional and mental state of people. We understand the financial and physical detriments of the disease but there could be more attention payed to the emotional and mental aspects of life.
I had a standoff with a neighbor I had not met yesterday. As I went down the first flight of stairs (I’m on the third floor), I look down to see a man standing at the bottom of the second flight of stairs with a skateboard in hand. I was confused at first then I said clearly “you can go ahead”. See, I had more space on the landing I stood on and if he decided to climb up the flight of stairs, I would have moved back even more to create more space but he just stood there staring at me for about a 40 seconds even after I repeated myself. I turned back to go back up the stairs and then I heard him coming up the stairs behind me (this made me feel uneasy, I am a female and he is bigger and stronger stranger). He said “thank you”, and I did not reply because he sounded sarcastic but I did nod. As I went through the door leading to the back staircase, he was opening the door to his apartment and then he said “I said, thank you” to which I replied “uhuh”.
I have noticed a weird air of survival in the way people avoid one another, feel threatened by the presence of a person on your path, and avoid eye contact. A skittish fearfulness has made me consider the following concepts.
Religion/Belief: I don’t want to go into the difference between Religion and belief. For this piece, let’s just consider them simultaneously. I believe in God and I know this means getting to know him through his word. I also know God loves me. I know I am saved by grace and not works and this motivates me to want to serve God. Not as a requirement for salvation, but because I love to bask in the freedom of choice. I also know that I am at my best when I serve God. Side note, I was not scared to sleep in my apartment because I constantly reminded myself that God is my refuge even after the stair case incident. Have you considered your belief system? I have. I know that it’s about the basics…love and fruits of the Spirit. I also know I can do better to renew my mind and exhibit love.
Love: My dad say “love you” after every phone call. He is Nigerian. He did not used to do so until my sister pointed something out to him. My dad is a sweet person, he complied. I do know that he genuinely loves me. Also, I love him too. I know this because we have both seen and been with one another at our best and worst, but through this we know that we are lucky to have one another (I know this is sappy, but my parents are the absolute best). I understood what true love is on a human level through my parents. They love me and showed it even when I stole money from my father (this was a one time thing! aaaand he was disappointed that I took the money, but proud that I could not lie to him. I RETURNED WHAT I TOOK TOO). Basically, I have learned that love is a gift that should keep on giving no matter what. I know that true love is Godly (agape) and active. I know that I don’t know everything about love because its dynamic and He is alive and requires a lifetime to get to know. I have wondered if I am constantly seeking to find, give, and understand love? I believe that should be our quest in life. We would treat one another better, wouldn’t we?
Relationships: Emotional intelligence is one of the top skills for this year according to LinkedIn. I think emotional intelligence involves knowing when and how to react/act despite the emotions we may be feeling. I think we all need this in all our relationships with love as the ever constant veriable. I could have screamed at the guy blocking me on the staircase, but I didn’t. Emotional intelligence influences how and who we relate with and can be valuable in establishing and improving relationships. For relationships by choice, we decide to be friends based on our assessment of their value to us and mutual understanding. We use logic and a bit of emotion to make our choice to be friends so it only makes sense that we would use logic and emotion to continue the relationship. Emotional intelligence should prevent us from annihilating our family members. I think I need to continually assess my involvement with my friends. I think I need to evaluate my relationships. Have I spoken and reacted/acted intelligently in my conversations and interactions with friends? Have I approached each relationship with the same gusto that is fair and fitting to improve and enrich both parties… with/in love? Can I do better?
Thank you for reading this. I really appreciate the fact that you read this. I am grateful for you. I hope you are doing well in this season.
I’ll leave you with this: We’re still alive and breathing so why not remember to be grateful?
